I can't bear the thought of breaking up and not being a part to this child's upbringing. 2. Women, in particular, have a growing awareness of the benefits of having babies when they're ready and not having more than they can provide for. Sex can lead to pregnancy and I'm assuming you knew the possibility of pregnancy when you made the choice. Plan the best decision that both of you can have to take a good care of the baby. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. Do i tell my boyfriend i slept with someone else during short break up? So remember to try to be the best of you. To start? They finally divorced when I was 19. Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. My ex won't come back to me after I hurt h Ex girlfriend is pregnant with her new boyfriend months after breaking up with me. SCENARION 4: HAVE AN OBORTION. And when the oldest child was about 10, I finally left. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. the woman would be unhappy, miserable and resentful as well in the long run for marrying a man who doesnt love her or care if she exists. Likewise, it's also draining, frustrating, and time-consuming. WTF re u saying tat u will nt marry her if I was tat gal u will marry by force so tat when u die n return u will fu*k people that u love total rubbish.Now u want freedom my ass u wont get so whos gonna to marry ur baby mommy?? I would start making a game plan, create a change. I chose to divorce my husband and my boyfriend of 4yrs has now ditched meit's also the consequence for the actions that I chose GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Im in the exact same boat man. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. Recently I found out I am pregnant. Reach out to your family and let them know what's going on. Girl sits on her partner, he turning her on the back. The issue is she is healthcare prof and works in OBS/GYN so there is no way way she would have an abortion, she has just been involved in too many such procedures and its just not for her. Many of us are (heavily) pregnant and still working. Being pregnant isn't an excuse to work not work, I worked up until I was 38 weeks along by choice. not the father, mother or child. She is a good person, and a fantastic catch for somebody unfortunately that person is not me. Don't try to be super-parent and don't let other people's unfair assumptions affect how you see yourself and your family. AND NOW EVERY ONE IS UPHAPPY, MISARABLE, INCLUDING THE CHILD. On the other hand, if you do not love her but only want the child, it is also very selfish of you. 1997-2023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. Good luck to you. I do have family but financially they can't help me or buy me a car bc he would be petty enough to keep the one he got me, it's under his name, I don't have anywhere to go or any Finances since I quit my job moving in with him. Idnt also think the said mother would marry someone who wouldnt make her happy. (11 Possible Meanings), how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby, reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else, How to Sweep A Cancer Man Off His Feet - Zodiac Signs, 32 Best Reasons to Date a Nurse (The No.1 Caretaker), Things You Need to Know About Dating Portuguese Man (The Sexiest Boyfriend), 35 Crazy and Undeniable Signs That She Friendzoned You, 25 Reasons Why You Should Date The Outgoing Introvert, Reasons to Choose the Girl with the Complicated Pastand How to Love Her Right. I tried to make myself love him. Ease into the conversation. It is something i always knew deep down but i never acted on it. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. ( though I dont see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. I think it's so hard for me to love this baby because I don't love my partner. we ended u divorcing in 6 years anyway. back out now, "Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. Second thing that you can do after having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it is to be responsible. Unless GF is somehow unfit, she'll get custody, meaning she makes the calls and gets support (e.g. Everyone is happier. He made a baby with you but doesn't seem to support you financially and you don't live together. If I could take a pill that made me love u him I would, whereas I think he thinks he can start a new life if he left me? I JUST came here to vent not telling people I'm snobby or lazy which I've never been! I know life would be so much easier if we were together, but I don't know if it's worth it. Same boat. Well of course he would keep the car. AND THIS ALSO INCLUDES AN UNHAPPY CHILD. BUTI had such a crappy childhood, I valued that more than I did my own personal happiness. I know most of yall are gonna tell me to leave him and I wish it was that easy. It would not work out for you or for her. It might even be too late for you anyway. I couldn't be myself with him. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. No love. You have to remember you are only going to be a victim for as long as you allow yourself to be one. A. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. You can't force yourself to love him. . It was very stressful. After a little while, if you still feel the same (i.e. My partner works alot which I think is the cause of us not having any connection? You could split amicably and try to remain friends to do what's best for the child. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. Second, if she were to make that decision previously to have an abortion for whatever reason you are not someone whose opinion matters since you're on an Internet forum and you don't know the personal lives of anyone on here enough to dictate that they should never have an abortion. Ex My moving on process. What kind of advice do you really want, the best advice would be to take care of your baby, dont let yours and your other half (lool) silly selves to pollute her upbringing. He started cheating and I would cry myself to sleep. Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. I hid the drama from my children, making up excuses while he never home. Lastly, keeping a child she wanted to abort could cause her to hate the child, it's not guaranteed she would love the child when it was born. She doesn't deserve that. Would I do it again? You should do what will make you happy. Lovers have a fun in comfortable room. Cost Of Food At The Plush Restaurant Of Akufo-Addos Daughter Causes Stir Online Video, Richie Mensah Confirms Kuami Eugenes Deal With Empire, Hw3 Nie Okyer3 Bi Watch Epic Moment Joselyn Dumas Stood Inches In Sight Of Her Least Favourite Fan, Be Careful, She Destroyed Moesha And Hajia 4 Real Fella Makafui Warned Over Friendship With Salma, Alan Cash, Kwasi Nyantakyi, Kwasi Appiah, Kurt Okraku And Other Dignitaries Storm Christian Atsus One Week Celebration, This Is Like A Hair Dressing Salon Social Media Trolls Tonardo After Flaunting His Sakatuu Living Room. It does make someone feel down and stressed out but, look at the big picture. Good luck. It may be tolerable now, but it sounds like you are unhappy. You said you quit your job Is that because of the pregnancy? He is a grown up. Right now her parents are planning to bring her over to my house. I don't know how I can be a great weekend father. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). I've never been the same since he brought out innocent baby into the argument. Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. But there's something extraordinary about the energy level of a little boy. This is the most stupid guy I have seen in my life twety something years of existance. My two oldest remember some fighting and the divorce. The author playing in the snow in December 2022. I unfortunately love my ex I have tried to forgets my ex but I can't. Also, you must then decide if you want to be in the child's life, how you will coordinate co-parenting a kid when you're not in a relationship, etc. Eight women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s spoke to Insider about their decision to be child-free. Also, if it's bad now it will only get worse once the baby is here. You could have the best partner and tons of family support. Does anyone relate? You would [hopefully] love your child, while also realizing that you shouldn't be having sex with anyone that you don't want to have a baby with. Op: I don't understand why you quit your job, but find a new one and go stay with family. Only good thing that came out of it are my children. General Baby Shower Wishes And Congratulations. If someone truly needs GA, that's absolutely what it's for. Every toddler boy I've ever met has a destructive streak I am just not into. And in some cases, she may want to keep the baby, but you don't. But what do you do in this situation? Best wishes for a lifetime of happiness. Why is she with you? We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. And, the combination of all of these factors can really take a toll on your relationship if you're not careful. But I want to be a father. I know many people that don't feel a connection to their babies for whatever reason until they are born, it happens and it will definitely change once you see his little face. To think about the kids. Remember, the decision you make will decide whether you will be happy or not in the near future. I want to be a great Dad, but I don't want to be miserable for the next 18 years - I don't know what to do. Hi everyone! :(. I hope everything works out for you. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. By Simon Maybin. They were always fighting, unhappy. It's not that they don't want to. And 3 children. May you both be happy and healthy. I know that my kids love us both. So are you guys in a relationship or just friend with benefits? To help you make the fewest blunders possible, let me give you a few tips: 1. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. Chandra is a mom of three boys (8, 4, and 3) and the founder of Oh Lovely Day, a lifestyle blog with a honest look at motherhood.She is trying to create more of an open dialogue with a no . I was done. **** will get tough before it gets better, but it will work out in the end. Create an account or log in to participate. Anyway, if you don't want to be with her, make that very clear. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. He wasn't meant for marriage, he was a party guy, a free bird, and only got married because he was afraid I'd sue him for child support later. One in 4 women will hang onto 11 lbs. There are many things that may cause a broken heart. FTM. I don't get how you came to that conclusion and you are just a bitter girl that NOW THE CHILD IS BORN. well you could say society won because it was able to force a marriage albeit a miserable one. You could have an easy pregnancy, a quick easy delivery and a healthy happy baby. If you don't like him, you don't have to live with him or use him. THE CHILD UNSTABLE, EVEN MORE **** UP. In other words, those maternal. You need a job and a plan so that you don't get stuck with him forever. I have many regrets from the past and can't bear to add another one to the long list. Create an account or log in to participate. maybe take a pre-marital class and figure out some common ground to build a relationship on Nine years ago I was mad in love with my first boyfriend. It is helped by a rush of love when the baby arrives, but that doesn't have to be present to create a positive, warm, loving connection which is what love is." For me, even weeks later, those warm . And the best way to do it is to proof to anyone that this version of you is so much better than you were. @Teejay,hahahahaha, that cracked me up, but coming back to the issue, what da hell???? Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. Whether the mistake were made with or without your intention, it still your mistake anyway. Are these issues still there? Amazed how women can be on these forums. Sex is the leading cause of babies. Regret will always be there when we made a mistake. I would rather someone abort a child they don't want than to have the child and it end up neglected and in the system as it got older. go and apologise. When I did he the. It's why your lady friend just said those two possibly thrilling, possibly terrifying words: "I'm pregnant." So what do you say when the woman you. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. the repercussions and consequences of such an act always plays out. HERE YOU GIVE A CHANCE FOR THE MOTHER, THE CHILD, THE FATHER AND THE GIRLFRIEND AT HAPPINESS IN LIFE. I even feel guilty saying this considering how hard other couples are trying to have a child and can't. I need help moving on. It wasn't working out before she got pregnant and now it's 100x worse because of her hormones. Paula Perry has a multi-page spreadsheet titled "Squirrels," which details the health and wellness of tiny, injured baby squirrels she keeps in her house. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. As for my girlfriend, I love this person and i will do my best to make it work out. How can you discuss your thoughts with her in a healthy way? It's the kind of care for your emotions, feelings, and love. YOU CANNOT PROVIDE HAPPINESS WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. Glancing over my shoulder in a coffee shop, I saw a couple of women, both bouncing perfectly content babies on their laps. cos it not easy to becme a single mother huh. I know this is not the time to criticise as the harm has already been caused, but i will still ask: If you claim you dnt love someone, how on earth did u get involved with her, let alone put her in the family way? He has been nothing but supportive, but I do not love him. Be mature about it don't depend on her to be safe you be safe, if she don't comply then don't have sex! If I could do something different, it would be to divorce as soon as my last daughter was born. Apparently that first year of raising the child is very stressful, specifically on the relationship. You need to get in contact with services and leave. So, chances are, she's not speaking as she normally would. Don't let ANY women determine for you when you will become a father! And you will also need to take a firm decision on what you think is best to be done. Having a complex relationship that involves a baby mama means you have to include the other woman in your life; whether you like it or not. We had been dating for maybe a few months before exclusive. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. I would sacrifice my own happiness and stay for the kids not interested in been with anyone else just want my girls and soon to arrive boy to be happy? know it's right to give her the fact straight but she is just a really nice person, and I feel really **** you know! We live together, that's all I can say, we have nothing else. "People would say, 'I don't want to have a baby because I don't have money or I don't have time or I don't have a partner,'" he says. But I don't feel the need to hold that up as a shield (though every time I see a movie where the childless woman is the villain I understand why my fellow non-parents doth protest too much . My boyfriend and I have only been together since November we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. I just don't think it's right to bring a child into the world when you can see the end of the relationship. My boyfriend cheated on me with his baby mama and now she is pregnant but I still love him HELP!! Know his concern about the current situation and discuss. I didn't want to waste one more day of my life feeling empty and with someone I didn't even like. I would be too miserable too even think of looking at other women. First, she's too far along. Sometimes their families even paid a dowry to the groom . Having a baby can create a bond that encourages mature personal growth and strengthens a couple's commitment to each other -- but that doesn't happen overnight, and more often, it doesn't. This discussion is archived and locked for posting. My pregnant girlfriend doesnt seem to want me around. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. Will you make a better progress by doing so? Maybe you will need to learn on how to get revenge on a frenemy. Be confident. In November 2022, I gave birth to my precious baby girl. Good luck to you. (1 to 2 kg . The altnerative is to stay with a woman you don't love and that is a lose-lose all around, even for the kid who will be able to sense his parents don't love each other. You decided to have a child with a man you barely know, you use him and his money (as you wrote, he can afford to pay for your car and other stuff) and you want us to praise you. most times the child bears all the burnt of this relationship as the child would be looked upon as some sort of curse to both parties life the father will hate the child instead of loving it and the mother will eventual resent her child. I feel like I'm trapped and no where to go. What can I do please? Know theways to move on after a bad relationship to help you to get better. Nothing from the start. Need help, advice? I too feel torn by a similar situation. Just that simple. NOW WHY IS IT THAT SO MANY OF US HAD MESSED UP CHILDHOOD? As opposed to hanging out with friends and other men she isn't in love with, she may be much more outgoing and boisterous. Sorry to say this, but your gf cannot be trusted. Nobody really knows what to expect when having a baby, but it does change everything, even if you're determined it won't. Some people may view the prospect of that change as scary and they may doubt their parental skills." When I had my first baby as a young single mom, I didn't have a car and I figured it out with the help of my family. He bought it and it is in his name. Being in a loveless relationship is not a good example for the LO you already have and the one on the way. It depends on the person. but she didn't have her baby . To begin, the average cost of vaginal delivery in the US, with health insurance, is $4,300. But that luxury comes with an expiration date, especially for women. Back then I loved her and I felt sorry for her because she took the decision of getting marry to me even though she didn't love me. There are midnight feedings, changing diapers, rocking a screaming infant and little sleep. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. I'm a **** if I lie and say I love her and be with her. Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. Accept That You Will Never Be First. At the end of the day, you won't be able to find happiness that you have been looking for. I've been trying to put my pride/ego/whatever aside and be with her, but it really kills me. SAY IT AGAIN! So today at my apt (weekly NST/ ultrasound due to Covid protocol) baby girl measured 8lb 2 ounces and short so they are saying she will be a big baby and have a big headI had my cervix checked and Im not dilated any nor has Hi all. If you're still contemplating having a family, you're still young enough to have that luxury. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. My youngest doesn't really remember anything. My daughter was born healthy, but of course small. SCENARIO 2: STAY WITH THE PERSON YOU LOVE. I don't know if that's just hormones talking or what! At least you know your decision to not hook up with a guy was definitely the right one if he insults you for it. Sorry I must've misread. He's controlling you since you are 100% dependent on him. On the contrary, women have been forced to marry men they didn't love for centuries. There is no right way to be a parent there is the only way that you want to do it. I am at a loss as to what I must do. start communicatin with her without quarrellin give her a try n am sure things gonna work out Or r u afraid u wont be able to sleep around or play ur games wen she step into urlife dear dwag such life n face reality.